The Grasshopper Read online

  “Collat-er…”

  “-al.”

  “Collateral!” Erivan said. “There! I’ll need that, if anyone asks me. Collateral!” Erivan repeated once again. “Why do I have to know everything? I don’t have a PhD in philosophy like you do, Grasshopper.”

  “You don’t… And I know why you don’t, Mr. President.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you weren’t interested in that. If you had been interested in those things you could have gotten a PhD in any field.”

  “Of course. You’re absolutely right.”

  “Even in several fields. You would have had five PhDs by now.”

  “Five? Ten! …if I wanted, Grasshopper!”

  “But you decided that you can’t waste time on those trifles. Who then would rule the world?”

  “That’s right, Grasshopper! That’s right! You read me like a book.”

  Chapter 82

  The central part of the shelter that Prince Kaella had built for himself and his family consisted of one large space.

  It included a kitchen, a dining room table with six chairs, a club table, a commode with a lamp, three dark brown leather armchairs and a large leather couch, fluorescent-green. The color of the beam on the Kaella company logo. There was a door on each wall of the living room area.

  The first was located between the kitchen cabinets and it led to the sleeping quarters for Kaella’s bodyguards. These quarters, which consisted of a large dormitory, bathroom and toilette, was now occupied by Pascal.

  The second door, on the opposite wall, could be accessed between the dining room table and the leather sofa set. It led to the quarters planned for Prince’s family. Manami, Peter and Eir now occupied them.

  The third and fourth doors, opposite one another, on the remaining two walls, were exits from the shelter. The one next to the dining room table led to the hotel, and the one next to the third armchair led to the television station.

  The corridor that led from the shelter to the hidden elevator was wider than the corridor that led to the secret door in the hotel basement.

  Behind a thin wall with sound insulation in the wider corridor were a large refrigerator, freezer, washing machine, drier and ironing machine.

  Chapter 83

  The Grasshopper sometimes went alone on his missions, with a sniper rifle. But more often they were assignments of a wider significance. Then the Grasshopper would put together a team. Erivan allowed him to include members of any squad, for any mission. In some situations Erivan’s entire squads, including their leaders, were placed under the Grasshopper’s command.

  For this mission the Grasshopper chose five squires: Kid, Elephant, Victor, Scorpion, and Cupid, and took them along to the Command.

  At the entrance to the Command the Grasshopper handed the guards Erivan’s written orders to the head of the Command and the head of its security.

  In order to give the orders greater meaning, Erivan wrote them by hand, signed them with his full name and stamped them with the magnificent, embossed state seal. It stated that Mr. Grasshopper was his personal envoy to the Command, that he had full authorization, and that he was to take absolute control of the Command and the entire energy system.

  When the chief and head of security at the Command made themselves available to him, the Grasshopper carried out the following steps, the following order:

  1. He ordered that he and his men be taken to the operations room.

  2. He ordered that the shields be raised around the Command and all the platforms in the energy system, which the system administrator on duty in the operations room carried out.

  3. He ordered that all those present in the Command, regardless of their function, including the guards at the door, go to the amphitheatre where he would convey President Erivan’s instructions for operation under wartime conditions.

  4. After a while he checked on the monitors whether all the other areas of the Command were empty. When he was certain of it, he ordered Scorpion, Kid and Elephant to go into the amphitheatre, to close the doors, and if necessary prevent anyone from leaving the amphitheatre until the chief, head of security, Victor, Cupid and he joined them.

  5. He asked the chief and head of security to approach the command desk, so that he could first explain to them the wartime regime for the functioning of the energy system. Because he expected their full support when he addressed the staff in the amphitheatre.

  6. When the chief and head of security approached the command desk, the Grasshopper nodded to Victor and Cupid.

  7. While Victor fired a shot into the temple of the head of security and Cupid emptied his clip into the chief’s body, the Grasshopper, with truly incredible speed, which completely deservingly represented a significant part of the legend about him, drew his two (also legendary) revolvers from his thigh holsters, throwing himself on the ground and before even touching the floor, firing a single bullet from each revolver, making holes on the foreheads of the surprised Victor and Cupid, who had just turned towards him.

  8. He approached the command desk, remotely locked the doors to the amphitheatre and switched off its oxygen supply.

  9. He walked out of the operations room into the corridor, opened the first aid cabinet and took out gauze and a bandage. He returned to the operations room, and used a knife, which he drew from the sheath on his belt, to remove a bullet from the chief’s body. He placed the bullet on the edge of the command desk and thoroughly soaked the gauze in the chief’s blood.

  10. He placed the bloody gauze on his left side and attached it with the bandage, wrapping it around his stomach.

  Chapter 84

  “You’re good, Bruce, you’re good,” said Lolo, the former boxer, while coaching a boy in his basement.

  Lolo didn’t coach just anyone. The boys had a boxing club for that. His basement was open only to those that Lolo identified as having a love of boxing. Those for whom fists were just a means. Those that boxed from the heart.

  “Hey, you!” roared Lolo’s wife, coming down the stairs with curlers in her hair. “You are to take the car to the Inspectorate immediately! Do you know that there’s a war starting?! Do you know that your car is already two months out of season?! Do you think that the inspectors will look the other way again?!”

  “Leave me alone, woman. You and that car… Those are all my people… Excellent, kid… That’s it! Hit it! Hit it! That’s it!” said Lolo, while Bruce ran around him, punching the gloves he held up.

  “Enough with that nonsense! Get out of that basement! First go buy some sour cream, then go return the car!”

  “Man, you’re such a drag,” said Lolo, while taking off his gloves. “Don’t ever get married, Bruce. Listen to what Mr. Lolo has to say. Keep hitting the sack, I’ll be back in a moment.”

  Lolo ran up the stairs without looking at his wife, and entered the hallway. He was surprised that his wallet was not on the dresser, next to his car keys. He checked the pockets of his pants, which were lying on the back of the armchair in the living room.

  “What are you fussing about there?” his wife asked, having come up from the basement.

  “Well… I can’t find my wallet.”

  “You lost your wallet?!” his wife shouted.

  “Well… I didn’t… I didn’t…” Lolo searched around the living room with his eyes. “It must be in the car…” he said, and took the keys from the dresser and went out to the car, which was parked in front of the house on their peaceful street.

  “Moron!” said his wife and returned to the kitchen.

  Sayash and Lucky were dozing in the shade. Lucky only opened his eyes half-way when he heard Lolo’s noisy wife, and Sayash didn’t even move.

  Chapter 85

  The Grasshopper turned on the camera above the command desk and called Erivan.

  “Mr. President… Mr. President…” he said with a exhausted voice.

  “Grasshopper! What’s going on?!” shouted Erivan in a panicked fear, seeing the entire operatio
ns room on his screen with bodies on the floor.

  “Don’t worry… Everything is alright… please, don’t worry…” the Grasshopper whispered.

  “What do you mean ‘alright’?!” Erivan asked hastily, but with a calmer voice. “You’re wounded, Grasshopper!” He shouted again when he saw Grasshopper’s bandaged body. “Is it a serious wound? Will you survive? Where are the rest?!”

  “I’ll tell you everything… sir… let me just catch my breath…”

  “Alright…”

  “I carried out your orders…”

  “Did you? Really? Congratulations, Grasshopper!”

  “But…”

  “But – what? Speak up!”

  “I’m trying… I’m exhausted… so…”

  “Alright… alright… take it easy, but what?”

  “I was attacked by… my…”

  “Who? Your people? Why? Impossible!”

  “Possible… possible… Mr. Presid…”

  “Did you manage to kill them all?

  “I did… don’t be angry…”

  “All five of them?”

  “Yes…”

  “And all the rest in the Command?”

  “Yes… don’t be angry… I was defending myself…”

  “How can I be angry? As long as you are alive, Grasshopper! Is it a serious wound? Who will help you? Who will treat you if you are alone in the Command? Will you bleed out?”

  “I won’t… don’t worry… I’ve already gotten the bullet out…” The Grasshopper moaned as he bent over to lift the bullet and show it to Erivan. “And I’ve sown up the wound…”

  “You operated on yourself? Without anesthesia? You’re a hero, Grasshopper!”

  “My loyalty to you… my upcoming mission… it gives me superhuman strength, Mr…”

  “Grasshopper, Grasshopper!... do you see that it was the right decision to send you up there?”

  “I see… Mr…” Grasshopper passed out. In doing so he hit the command desk with his forehead, right on the wrong icon, and he disconnected the link with Erivan.

  Chapter 86

  Lucky raised his head, opened his eyes wide and looked at the Inspectorate armored vehicle coming around the corner. He rushed towards Lolo’s house.

  “Hey, Lucky! What’s the matter with you?” Sayash shouted. “Lucky, stop!”

  Lucky started manically digging up flowers in Lolo’s wife’s garden.

  Lolo didn’t find his wallet in the car’s glove compartment. He had just squatted next to the driver’s seat and was running his hand underneath it, when Sayash rushed into his wife’s garden.

  “And who are you?” asked Lolo, catching the red-and-yellow squares of Sayash’s three quarter pants in the corner of his eye.

  “Ah, you peed,” Sayash said while catching his breath, having run up to Lucky. “What is this new thing of yours, Lucky? Showing off with your front paws when you pee?”

  Lolo had gotten up and was headed towards the house. He saw Lucky digging up his wife’s flowers and Sayash smiling cheerfully.

  “What now!?!” Lolo shouted, already annoyed because of his missing wallet. “You bum, you’re insane!”

  “Lucky, where are you going? Wait for me, Lucky!” Sayash panted while running after Lucky, who was sprinting down the street.

  “Come back, you bum! You’ll pay for this! You and that mutt of yours!” It would have taken Lolo only another step to reach the clumsy Sayash, when the Inspectorate armored vehicle fired a shell and blew up his out-of-season car.

  Lolo first stumbled from the explosion, then stopped and turned around. He watched in shock as his car disappeared in the flames.

  “Hey, Lolo!” shouted inspector Marlon, peering through the turret of the armored vehicle. “Sorry, buddy, I had to. It’s war, no messing around. In any case I spared you the trouble of driving this heap of junk to the Inspectorate. You’re buying beer tonight at Legends. See you, buddy!” Marlon greeted his buddy Lolo and lowered the hatch after him.

  Lolo didn’t say anything to him. He turned around and looked down the street, but Sayash and Lucky were nowhere to be seen. He stood there on the sidewalk for a while, in reflection. And then he ran to his veranda, where standing next to each other were his wife in curlers and Bruce in red gloves.

  “Did you see that?” the excited Lolo told his wife. “Do you get what happened? That bum… and his puppy… How did they just disappear? Do you get it? They saved my life! That’s why he was digging in your flowers! To make me run after them, to get me away from the car! They saved my life, woman!”

  “Stop the nonsense! There’s nothing wrong with my flowers,” Lolo’s wife said.

  “What do you mean ‘there’s nothing wrong’?!” said Lolo looking at the garden where all the rows were perfectly neat. “What do I care?” he shouted, still very excited. “I saw them! And I know that they saved my life! Without them I would have been squatting behind the car and Marlon wouldn’t have seen me!”

  “Did you find your wallet, buster?! That’s what I’m asking you! Tell me that!” his wife interrupted him.

  With a short and lightning-fast blow of the fist Lolo hit his wife in the chin, turned around and ran down the street.

  “Damn, now that’s a direct punch!” shouted Bruce, while Lolo’s wife was going down next to him. Bruce knelt next to her and started counting: “One… two…” But it didn’t seem that the missus would be getting up and continuing the fight. “Ten!” shouted Bruce, and got up – glowing. “Classic knockout!”

  “That’s the beauty of boxing, Bruce,” thought Lolo while running down the street. “You count to ten and you know exactly whether it was a knockout or not. And not like this: you persistently count the months, years, decades… and it still isn’t clear to you that you were knocked out long ago.”

  “How could they disappear so quickly?” Lolo was taken aback when he reached the Legends café, which the Company sector for catering opened at the sport center nearby, following a written request by the former boxers.

  “People! People! They saved my life!” Lolo shouted while bursting into Legends. “And they disappeared! They disappeared!”

  “Who did, Lolo?”

  “How did they save your life?”

  “What are you saying, Lolo?” his friends jumped to their feet.

  “Oscar, can I stay with you? For a few days, until I find a place?” Lolo asked.

  That is how the legend of the Saint and his Dog was born, in the namesake café.

  Chapter 87

  “Sir,” said Manami, sitting after dinner next to Peter at the dining table and holding Eir in her lap.

  “Your forehead is high…” Pascal tried to rationalize her beauty, while sitting across from them. To fit it into certain standards, molds. “…oval. You have strong cheekbones. And then it gets narrower towards your cute chin.”

  “We have to discuss how we will function in the shelter. You will put your clothes in the machine. I will turn it on and wash them,” Manami continued.

  “Your nose is flat and small. Your upper lip is fuller. Its upper edge dips down in the middle. And your lower lip is smaller. And thinner. Actually, your lips are the shape of a small heart. Which I want to kiss so much. Do you know that, love? Do you know that, darling?”

  “I’ll dry it and iron it,” Manami explained.

  “Your eyes are unusually large… for such… dark and slanted eyes. I like it when you let your hair down. I also like it when you wear it up… but more like this…”

  “Sir! You are not listening to me at all!” Manami was cross.

  “I’m listening, ma’am, I’m listening,” Pascal answered

  “Well then, will you take your laundry to the machine?”

  “I won’t,” Pascal answered calmly.

  “You always speak quietly, Manami. And when you raise your voice, you also raise your eyebrows.”

  “What do you mean ‘you won’t’?” Manami was surprised.

  “And your eye
brows are not as round as your forehead… They somehow look sharper. And now… now that I’ve explained it all to you so nicely, explain to me, my love, why do I find your face to be the most beautiful of all? Why do I love you so much? Why is it that because of you I’ve become the world’s greatest coward?”

  “Sir…” said Manami, noticing how Pascal was looking at her.

  “I just won’t. I’ll take care of my own laundry,” Pascal finally answered.

  “Nonsense!” suddenly shouted Peter, who was silent until then. “A man washing his own laundry?! I’ve never heard of that! My father would never wash his own laundry!”

  “You’re right, Manami. You didn’t decide that I would be a coward. I decided. It’s not your fault, you’re not responsible for being, for existing” thought Pascal, and then twitched and said

  “Peter, your father is a different story.”

  “What do you mean ‘different’? You are the president of Earth, Mr. Alexander! How can you wash your own laundry?”

  “Peter, we’re in…” Manami tried to explain to her son. “In an unusual situation. Mr. Alexander might be embarrassed. Perhaps dad would be… Do you understand?”