The Grasshopper Read online

  Manami raised her had and gave him a puzzled look.

  “I do. How do you know that?”

  “I don’t know how I know. Perhaps the mayor mentioned it during one of our conversations. I really don’t know. But I dreamt of it that day… before the war.”

  “Of my kimono?”

  “I dreamt of the two of us… in a huge ballroom… I dreamt of it while I was putting on that dark suit and the shiny black shoes… like dance shoes. And a white shirt. I wanted to be shot in the heart. So that you could see on TV how my heart bleeds for you.”

  “Don’t say that! I don’t want to hear that, Pascal!”

  “Forgive me. I won’t. I won’t let anyone shoot at me. I want to live every moment with you, Manami. I dreamt of just the two of us being in that ballroom. Hugging… and you, my love, were in a gold kimono. Beautiful!”

  “That’s my great-grandmother’s kimono,” Manami said. “My family gained artwork status for it. So that the Inspectorate wouldn’t destroy it, as outdated. Perhaps you saw that kimono somewhere on the Internet. There are pictures of it. It says that I own it.”

  “Possibly.”

  “The kimono is my family’s prized possession. That’s why I brought it with me to the shelter.”

  “Manami!” shouted Pascal. “Go put it on! Immediately! Please!”

  “Not now, Pascal. I didn’t know that you knew about my gold kimono. And that you imagined us dancing alone.”

  “Alone, Manami. Just the two of us, in the whole world. Why won’t you put it on?”

  “Because, Pascal, this entire time I’ve been having my own dream about the kimono.”

  “What is your dream, my love?”

  “When we first make love, I’ll be in the gold kimono. And you will take it off of me slowly and gently.”

  “Well that’s what I’m telling you. Go, put it on,” Pascal said with a smile.

  “Don’t torture me, Pascal, please. Alright, alright… as a reward for dreaming about my kimono you’ll get two extra minutes under the nightgown…”

  Chapter 119

  “Are you comfortable, Your Imperial Majesty?” the Grasshopper asked.

  “Comfortable? Fantastic, Grasshopper!” Erivan exclaimed. “Like in the nicest dream!”

  “I’m glad for you, Your Imperial Majesty. And what do you like the most?”

  “Everything. I like everything! The reality show at the stadium… Wow, how quiet it gets when I raise my thumb. And when I give the thumbs down – ovations! How my subjects adore me! How they shout when they carry me through the streets… You see that, I guess?”

  “I do, I do, but I don’t have audio. And I like it when you tell me. I’m the happiest if you are happy.”

  “I’m overjoyed! And the orgies! Phenomenal! Live, at my residence. And not like at Kaella, only in porn movies. But do you know what’s bothering me, Grasshopper?”

  “What’s bothering you?”

  “I get stuffed to quickly, I’m about to burst. I want to eat more, I want to eat all the time… all the goodies that they make for me… and I can’t.”

  “That’s no problem, Your Imperial Majesty. As soon as you feel that you can’t eat anymore, just vomit.”

  “Yes?”

  “Yes. Make some room in your stomach, and then go at it.”

  “Great idea! How didn’t I think of that?”

  “That’s because Kaella first made his money from food, and later on teas, pills and therapies for losing weight, and he covered up this best method for continuous eating. And I see that you also have interesting events in the streets and squares.”

  “We do, we do. I do all that for my subjects. And I love them.”

  “Of course.”

  “I have something for them every day… a firing squad, a hanging, guillotine, impalement, crucifixion… and then they make an offering to me. And I eat a young heart. You have no idea how healthy it is! I come alive! Hey, do you know what my subjects love most of all?”

  “What?”

  “Bonfires! I do them twice a week. They all cry out in excitement.”

  “You’ve spoiled your subjects. It’s no surprise that they adore you.”

  “They adore me terribly! Terribly!”

  “I see that you’ve opened to them the two sports arenas, Kaella 1 and Kaella 2.”

  “I have. So that they too can organize binge drinking, drug consumption, feasting and orgies. And they aren’t called Kaella anymore.”

  “No?”

  “I’m not sure. They gave them some odd names.”

  “Sodom and Gomorrah.”

  “Yes! How did you know?”

  “From now on demand that they address you as ‘Your Highness the Human Being’. And you, Your Highness, have truly deserved that title.”

  “I will! Great name! I’ll immediately call the television station to tell them…”

  “No, no… wait a bit. Throw off that stupid tunic that conceals your beautiful human body. From now on, let them carry you naked, standing up.”

  “What will I do naked, Grasshopper?”

  “Alright… have them make you a thong with your image.”

  “Well… I can’t do that either…”

  “Why?”

  “I have a boil on my ass.”

  “Don’t worry. It will be a wonderful fashion detail.”

  Chapter 120

  “Doctor?” Erivan called his psychiatrist in the middle of the night.

  “Yes, Your Highness the Human Being?”

  “Should I take a double dose? I can’t go to sleep.”

  “No, don’t. It won’t help you. And it can damage your liver.”

  “So what should I do? I can’t go on like this . I’m not getting any sleep. I can’t even enjoy myself properly.”

  “You have very rare condition, Your Highness.”

  “Me sick? You’d better be careful what you say!”

  “No, no. You didn’t understand. You’re not sick. Mr. Grasshopper is sick.”

  “The Grasshopper? What do I care about him?”

  “It’s a strange condition. Its called the cosmic syndrome. When someone spends so much time alone in space, like Mr. Grasshopper, then they develop …”

  “Let him develop…”

  “They develop it but the condition is transferred to the person that they communicate with. And that’s you, Your Highness. He doesn’t have any symptoms. It’s a very strange condition. He needs to be treated, not you.”

  “Very well. I’ll tell him. And you can treat him.”

  “I can’t. I don’t know this disease. There is only one doctor who treats it.”

  “Alright. Let him treat him. It makes no difference to me.”

  Part IV: Hope

  Chapter 121

  Dr. Palladino sat in a chair set up between Erivan’s desk and the office door. Charlie stood behind him.

  “You will now call the Grasshopper and ask him this question,” said Dr. Palladino to Erivan.

  “It’s a stupid question, Doctor,” Erivan hesitated. “It isn’t at all for the Grasshopper. He does what I command him.”

  “That’s clear to me. But this is the magical question which cures the cosmic syndrome. After that you will sleep like a baby.”

  “Really? Great! I’ll call him immediately.”

  “Why will you kill all the people, Grasshopper?” Erivan asked, as soon as the Grasshopper picked up.

  After a few moments of silence the Grasshopper said

  “Widen the camera angle, Your Highness.”

  Erivan looked at Dr. Palladino, who nodded. He then showed the entire office to the Grasshopper.

  “You are…?” the Grasshopper asked when he saw Dr. Palladino.

  “Palladino.”

  “Why is it that it was precisely you, Mr. Palladino, who got the opportunity to ask me this question?”

  “My colleague asked me to do so, Grasshopper.”

  “Colleague? From which field?”

 
; “Medicine.”

  “Psychiatry, I presume.”

  “Yes.”

  “Why didn’t your colleague ask the question himself? Why did he ask you, Dr. Palladino?”

  “Because I create psychological profiles for serial killers.”

  “Aha. So your colleague believes that I’m a serial killer?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you?”

  “I believe that you are an absolute killer.”

  “Absolute? I will do everything in my power to justify your confidence, Dr. Palladino.”

  “I believe you will.”

  “I’ve noticed that you are on a first name basis with me, Dr. Palladino.”

  “Yes, I am. Does that bother you?”

  “No, but I’m interested why you decided to do so?”

  “Because in my practice I’m always on a first name basis with killers.”

  “Because you despise us?”

  “It helps me create a profile.”

  “To create a profile or negotiate with a killer?”

  “I’ve never negotiated nor have I communicated in any way with serial killers. I’ve only talked to them in my head. I would ask them questions and imagine their probable answers.”

  “I am the first killer to whom you have actually spoken?”

  “Yes.”

  “Have you studied me?”

  “Yes. I looked over the recordings of yours and Erivan’s conversations.”

  “Erivan’s? You’re a bold man, Dr. Palladino. How dare you call His Highness by his name?”

  “I call Erivan by his name because I believe that you are wrong.”

  “You don’t believe that Erivan symbolizes His Highness the Human Being”.

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Do you perhaps believe that I represent His Highness the Human Being?”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Alright, Dr. Palladino. Ask away.”

  “I’ve already asked the question.”

  “Why will I kill all the people?”

  “Yes.”

  “Because I can.”

  Chapter 122

  Having heard the Grasshopper’s answer, Dr. Palladino lowered his head, placed the palms of his hands on his knees and stayed in that position for several moments. He then got up from his chair and without looking at the Grasshopper he started for the door.

  Charlie stepped in front of him and placed a hand on his chest.

  “Where are you going, Dr. Palladino?” the Grasshopper asked.

  “I’m leaving,” answered Dr. Palladino, looking at Charlie’s hand.

  “Did my answer anger you?”

  “No.”

  “Disappoint you?

  “No.”

  “Did you expect it?”

  “Yes.”

  “And now you think that talking to me no longer makes sense?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you do only meaningful things?”

  “Mostly not. Only when I work for the Inspectorate,” Dr. Palladino turned towards the Grasshopper.

  “You’re not afraid that Charlie will kill you? You’re not afraid of dying?”

  “No.”

  “I see,” said the Grasshopper, looking Dr. Palladino in the eye. “You’re eyes are red, Dr. Palladino. You haven’t had enough sleep. You’ve been working hard, studying my file, I assume?”

  “Yes.”

  “Charlie, are your men in front of the door?” the Grasshopper asked.

  “Of course.”

  “Have them take the Doctor to another room, to get some sleep.”

  “Here you go, Doctor,” said Charlie, having opened the door.

  “Grasshopper, did the doctor cure you?” Erivan asked. “Hmm? Are you better? It seems to me that I’m a little drowsy. I’ll try to have a little nap…”

  “Charlie, kill the idiot,” said the Grasshopper, when Charlie returned.

  Chapter 123

  “Are you rested, Dr. Palladino?” the Grasshopper asked.

  “Yes. Erivan’s gone?” Dr. Palladino sat down in a chair.

  “He won’t be bothering us anymore,” said the Grasshopper. “Do you still think that talking to me doesn’t make any sense?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Aren’t you at all professionally curious to create the psychological profile of an absolute killer?”

  “I don’t create profiles to learn whether the killer had an unhappy childhood, but rather to help inspectors find him and lock him up; to prevent new killings. Creating your profile will not contribute to that.”

  “Probably not, but you cannot be absolutely certain of that. Or perhaps you can, with your knowledge and experience?”

  “I cannot.”

  “So you do allow for the small possibility that you could convince me to stop killing?”

  “Anything is possible, but I do not see that possibility.”

  “Doctor, you are the only person in the world that I am talking to. And you don’t want to even try to make out this possibility and take advantage of it through our conversation. What then is the difference between the two of us? You are therefore my accessory.”

  Dr. Palladino looked out the window in silence.

  “Charlie told me that he found you… in a very delicate situation. But this is not about your life, Doctor, but about…”

  “You’re right, sir,” Dr. Palladino said, looking him in the eye.

  “We are no longer on first name basis?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’ve decided to talk to you for as long as you will permit it. And I cannot use my usual methods and ways of thinking.”

  “In addition to what you said, perhaps you feel that a first name basis is not appropriate? Perhaps you have started to respect me?”

  “Respect you? Certainly not. But you leave such an impression on a person, that first name basis is not acceptable.”

  “Tell me, Doctor, I’m certain that you thought everything through, what do you think why am I talking to you?”

  “Because you are bored. Am I right?”

  “You probably are. Also, I’ve been given this unexpected opportunity to talk to an intellectual, for the first time since I finished my education. I’m also probably interested in what my psychological profile would look like.”

  “I’ve told you that I’m putting aside my method of work; that I have to have a completely different approach.”

  “Different in what way? Do you already know that or do you need time to think? We can end this conversation now…”

  “We will not interrupt it. I don’t want to think, because the usual patterns will prevail. I will ask you everything that I think of. And then I will see where it leads. If it leads anywhere at all.”

  “Go ahead, ask.”

  “OK… What would be the conclusion of your true, sincere doctoral thesis?”

  “What do you think, Doctor?”

  “The purpose of my life is the destruction of all living things.”

  “I wouldn’t agree with that… entirely. First of all, Doctor, ‘destruction’ is not the right word. Non-living things are destroyed. Life is exterminated. I would put it like this ‘I would exterminate all life, if I had the opportunity.’”

  Chapter 124

  “Hey, Lucky, what’s with you? Why are you biting my thumb? You’re silly,” Sayash told Lucky, while they rested in the shade of an olive tree, on a knoll by the roadside. “I know why! Your mother didn’t breastfeed you as a baby. That’s alright… I don’t mind.”

  Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of a truck engine.

  “Let go of my thumb, Lucky. The movie’s started. Come sit in my lap so we can watch. A truck is coming down the road, Lucky. I’ve seen many such movies. An empty road, and a vehicle appears. This could be interesting, Lucky.”

  Lucky let go of Sayash’s thumb and sat in his lap. Sayash stroked him between the ears.

  “Look… the t
ruck has stopped. Has it broken down? Another one will come now, and they will connect themselves with a giiiiaaaant shoelace, and the second one will pull it. I know, I’ve seen this movie… Wait, wait, Lucky, it’s not that movie… this is a different one… this truck is carrying some children. I haven’t seen this one. I really haven’t…”

  The driver came out and lowered the side of the truck.

  “Is the actor going to wake the children? Lucky? Do you see them; they’re asleep like angels.”

  The driver returned to the cabin. A piston raised and tilted the trailer.

  “What is this nonsense?” Sayash commented excitedly. “What does the truck think, that it’s an amusement park ride, or what? Hey truck, don’t you see that the children are asleep? They don’t want to play and be jerked around now!” Sayash was annoyed while the children’s bodies fell by the road. “Lucky, do you see how stupid this truck is?!”

  Sayash looked at Lucky who shed tears incessantly.

  “Hey, Lucky, it’s not you that should cry because the truck is stupid! What do we care about it! I guess you see that the children are still asleep… Hey, Lucky, stop!” Sayash ran after Lucky. “Don’t you wake them up now!”

  The driver raised the side and returned to the cabin. The truck went on its way. To pick up some new load.

  Chapter 125

  “You’ve strived the entire time to find yourself in such a situation? I’ve concluded this from your biography,” Dr. Palladino said to the Grasshopper.

  “That’s right.”

  “When did you realize that the opportunity was that room that you are in and that command desk?”

  “Very early on. As soon as I understood how the energy system was organized. Back in high school.”

  “And at that same moment you wanted to sit at the command desk?”