The Grasshopper Page 27

  “It just happened,” Dr. Palladino answered. “A poker partner had disappeared. After a while I learned that he had died playing Russian roulette… When the war started… when snipers appeared in every block, firing squads, widespread raping of women and girls… when my job became pointless… when the only thing that gave my life meaning disappeared… I went to play Russian roulette.”

  “And why did hunting killers mean so much to you?”

  “You’ll laugh at me. Because of Hercule Poirot.”

  “The Agatha Christie character?” the Grasshopper was surprised.

  “Yes. I read her books countless times.”

  “Really? Isn’t it boring when you know who the killer is?”

  “No. Even when I read one of her books for the first time I wouldn’t try to discover the villain. I would simply let the lady take me wherever she wanted to. I enjoyed the atmosphere of her novels.”

  “And what influence did Hercule Poirot have on you?”

  “He simply said ‘I do not approve of murder.” And that was the only thing that was truly important to me, my entire life. The only thing that I care about.”

  “And you know why?”

  “I know. I admire people who appreciate, who love life, who rejoice it, enjoy it. I consider this to a gift that I do not have, and that is why I do not approve that the lives of such people be taken.”

  “You are an interesting man, Dr. Palladino.”

  “On the contrary, I’m very dull…”

  “I’ve remembered something else… something I’ve wanted to ask you several times, Mr. Grasshopper.”

  “Ask away.”

  “Have you read Tolstoy?”

  “Of course. Are you thinking of his thoughts about the importance of individuals in history? If he were with us today he would know that the role of the individual sitting at this desk is crucial.”

  “Certainly. But I was thinking of Anna Karenina.”

  “Anna Karenina?” the Grasshopper was surprised.

  “Yes. Tolstoy’s introductory statement, that all happy families are alike and unhappy ones are not, seemed monstrous to me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because in it he suggests to the reader that they should be unhappy.”

  “How did you come to that conclusion?”

  “Why would someone seek happiness if it is dull? Always the same. Like your neighbor’s. And now I’m certain that the claim is incorrect. At least in its second part.”

  “Why?”

  “Look at the Earth, Mr. Grasshopper. Misery is dull. Pain is dull. The same for all people, endless.”

  “And you wish to test the truth of the first part of Tolstoy’s claim on my case?” the Grasshopper raised his voice. “Because you think that I am happy now. And you want to hear from me that my happiness is equal and dull this entire time. And that I will stop what I am doing and kill myself because of the dullness. And with Hercule Poirot you tried to make me empathize with the people that love life. Dr. Palladino, I do not know how to feel, nor empathize. I only know how to think. I feel neither happiness, nor sadness, nor satisfaction, nor dullness, nothing. I only know how to read the feelings in the eyes of other people. To understand and classify them. To draw conclusions from them and form opinions. And to act based on those opinions. I’m a little disappointed in you, I must admit.”

  “It’s all clear to me, Mr. Grasshopper,” Dr. Palladino said loudly, getting up from his chair. “But I simply have no ideas, I don’t! My greatest problem is that… I want to tell you that with Tolstoy and dullness I made a desperate attempt, but not with Poirot. You asked me why hunting killers meant so much to me, and I answered you honestly and precisely.”

  “It’s alright, Doctor,” said the Grasshopper in a calm tone again. “Continue. You wanted to say something else. What is your greatest problem?”

  “It’s that I find no faults in your opinions. Your actions based on these opinions are horrific. But I cannot change that. I was hoping, this entire time, that I would find a crack… some inconsistency in your thinking. That I would point it out to you, that you would change your mind, at least in some detail, that you would act differently because of it… you would do that, I’m certain.”

  “I would.”

  “But I can’t find it… I’m not educated enough, I wasn’t interested in all that… You probably wouldn’t accept to talk to other experts… historians…”

  “My last conversation is with you, Dr. Palladino.”

  “That’s clear to me… Alright, like this… Tell me, what do you think about Pascal Alexander? You mentioned him only once. And the strength of his movement, which would topple Kaella, right?”

  “Yes, I did.”

  “So you know how he thinks? His conclusions?”

  “I do.”

  “Can you tell me what you think of them? They are the complete opposite of yours. They are full of life energy, optimism, hope. Can you tell me why they are wrong?”

  “I can.”

  Chapter 137

  “First of all, I’m immensely grateful to Mr. Pascal Alexander. Without him I would never have had the opportunity to sit at this desk. Someone else would have appeared, undoubtedly. But not at the right moment. Not at the moment when I was ready,” the Grasshopper said.

  “So, Pascal made it possible for you to kill? That is a very unfair claim, Mr. Grasshopper!” Dr. Palladino said angrily.

  “That’s the way it is, Dr. Palladino. Mr. Alexander made it possible for me. Had he not, someone else would have done the same for the Kaellas, another Erivan… another Grasshopper. The absolute weapon is there. The only question is who would pull the trigger and when. Like in the theater, when there is a rifle hanging on the wall. Everyone knows that it will go off by the end of the play.”

  “Your logic is horrific! Awful! I simply don’t accept it, Mr. Grasshopper!” Dr. Palladino got up from the chair and angrily paced around the office.

  “It’s not my logic. I’m not original in any way,” the Grasshopper continued in a calm voice. “My answer, that I will kill all people because I can, also isn’t original. Everyone killed because they could. Or at least because they thought that they could.

  “And all the groups of people strived to create opportunities for themselves to kill, just as I have done. To be stronger than other groups of people. To have better weapons, a larger and better trained army.

  “And when they achieved that, when they could kill other people, it was easy to come up with an excuse: they hate us, they are a threat to us, we have to expand our territories, we have to ensure resources for ourselves, they believe in something else, we have to get revenge, we are superior… a million excuses.

  “You’ve seen history shows on television. No one wastes time explaining why one group of people killed a different group, why did the groups fought in the first place. They don’t explain that because wars and killing are implied. They only talk about who was more skillful, which king, tsar, general or admiral outsmarted the other one, how a certain war, a certain battle developed. When you watch at those shows you get spattered by blood and death.

  “I’m not original in any way, Dr. Palladino. I only asked myself why I would kill only the members of this group or the other group of people, when I have the opportunity to kill all people.”

  Dr. Palladino calmed down. He returned to his chair. He looked at the Grasshopper and said

  “Would you please continue the discussion about Pascal Alexander?”

  “As you wish, Doctor. I know more about Mr. Alexander that can be deduced from his speeches,” the Grasshopper continued. “Because we had him under surveillance on several occasions.”

  “And? What did you hear? I’m interested in Pascal’s intimate thoughts.”

  “Mr. Pascal Alexander was an utopist. One of many. With the exception of being the last one, he differed from his predecessors in that he did not offer anything new. His goal was the restoration of the old. Restoration of democr
acy and the free market.

  “He wanted… and this needs to be said in the beginning: Mr. Alexander saw a link between evolution – he was a biology teacher – and the free market.

  “His thesis was that creation of companies that would compete between themselves in the free market, companies that are constantly developing, changing and adapting to market conditions – is a next phase in evolution. Just like different life forms changed through evolution and struggled for survival.

  “And that in this same way, in the free market the strongest survive, and the weaker, unadjusted, incompetent – die out.”

  “What do you think of that, Mr. Grasshopper?”

  “I didn’t go into that. I’m not interested in the market, free or not. Or evolution. I’m not interested in whether man was created by evolution, God or something else. I’m also not interested in whether man’s instinct to kill was imbedded by the creator intentionally or by accident. I only understand what has been created. And if this unknown creator truly had the intention to create sustainable life, life capable of surviving – then his project is failing, he’s become perplexed, like a pupil solving a math problem for a test. And I will help him. I will do what is most sensible in such cases. I will tear out the piece of paper with his scribbling, crumple it up and throw it in the trash. Let him start solving the problem from the beginning, on a blank piece of paper. If he has any time left until the school bell rings.”

  Dr. Palladino got up and went to the window.

  “You have nothing to say?” the Grasshopper asked.

  Dr. Palladino didn’t answer. He lit a cigarette and looked out the window.

  “In any case, don’t you think that this is quite alright, that a Grasshopper is sitting at this desk, Dr. Palladino?”

  “What do you mean ‘alright’?” asked Dr. Palladino moving in heavy steps back towards the chair.

  “Don’t movies depict Earth and mankind under attack by monsters from outer space, with many arms and legs?”

  “I don’t watch such films, Mr. Grasshopper,” said Dr. Palladino while taking his seat.

  “I believe you. These movies differ only in the number of hands and legs that the monsters have. There was a competition between the moviemakers in who would have the most limbs. And it turned out that it functioned only up to a certain degree. Up to an optimum. After that it was counterproductive; every limb that the author added to his monster only increased the movie’s financial loss. So I’ve been thinking, perhaps it is optimal for mankind that it be killed by a Grasshopper. Six legs is perhaps the optimal number?”

  “I’m surprised by your cynicism, Mr. Grasshopper.”

  “It wasn’t my intention to be cynical, Dr. Palladino. I’m just surprised by the level of dishonesty among people. They don’t want to admit that the greatest monster in the universe has only two hands and two legs.”

  “I think you’ve been kidding yourself the entire time, Mr. Grasshopper,” Dr. Palladino said.

  “What do you mean?” the Grasshopper was surprised.

  “Because you consider yourself an honest killer who doesn’t need an excuse.”

  “That’s right, Doctor.”

  “It’s not true. Your excuse is your disappointment in people, Mr. Grasshopper.”

  “No, it’s not,” the Grasshopper answered immediately, without a second thought. “I’m not disappointed. In order to be disappointed in something one must first have some expectations. And I don’t have any. I never had any.”

  Chapter 138

  “Manami, do you see how much I love Peter and Eir?” Pascal asked.

  “I see, my darling.” Manami sat in his lap, straddling him. She ran her fingers through his hair. “And I’m overjoyed about it. I also see how the two of them have accepted you... alright, for now as someone they are living with, but even there you would be able to see any animosity, any antagonism. And there is non, my love. Not even a speck. I know that my children will also accept you as my husband. Perhaps there will be some initial resistance in Peter. Not perhaps – there surely will be. But so many people get divorces, and the children adapt, don’t they? The children grow, they get interested in children their age, their generation. It will be alright. I know it. It’s clear to me. I stopped worrying about that long ago.”

  “And I will always love them like that. Even if…” Pascal fell silent and dropped his head.

  “What? Even if what? What could happen?” Manami was frightened.

  “Nothing, it’s not important…” Pascal looked at her and smiled.

  “Why are you smiling, Pascal? What are you scheming?” Manami relaxed when she realized that Pascal was teasing her. “Tell me, even if what?”

  “Well that… I mean, it isn’t unusual… actually it happens to other people at our age. When a married couple agrees, what and how…”

  “I do, my love, I do! I want it! The children also won’t mind if they get a baby sister or a baby brother. You’ll see, my love! You’re wonderful! Wonderful!” Manami kissed Pascal ecstatically.

  “Do you really? I was sure that you wouldn’t. You already have Peter and Eir…”

  “I also want our child! How could I not want it?!”

  “And for it to be beautiful like you, and smart like you, Manami.”

  “Stop kidding around, Pascal! Kiss me, please. The two minutes start earlier tonight.”

  “That sweet tongue of yours has gone wild, Manami” said Pascal, when they stopped for a moment to catch their breath.

  “Don’t be sassy,” Manami laughed. “What do you mean ‘wild’? It’s like it always is during the two minutes.”

  “No, not like always. I mean, yes, it’s always wild, but not exactly this much. This is a bit too much for such a lady, Manami.”

  Manami thought about it.

  “Perhaps you’re right. But that’s only now. Because I’m so happy.”

  “So in your case, like with me, happiness causes physical excitement,” Pascal said.

  He left one hand on her breast, and for the first time, he gently lowered his other hand down her stomach.

  “Don’t you…”

  “Dare,” Pascal ended her usual command. “I know that and I’m getting tired of it.”

  Manami kissed him.

  “Hey, darling, slowly,” Pascal laughed. “I’m afraid.”

  “What are you afraid of? Don’t play around with me any more, Pascal,” Manami laughed too.

  “I’m afraid that your tongue might get free,” Pascal teased her and sighed deeply. He was running his hands over her thighs and buttock for the first time.

  “Well, that’s not right!” Manami shouted and got up from his lap. “That’s very inappropriate, Pascal, taking advantage of my moment of happiness! I’m angry! I’m very angry! You won’t get even two minutes any more! Remember what I said!” Manami shouted.

  Pascal got up and tried to hug her. Manami moved away and held her hands on his chest.

  “Don’t you dare touch me again, Pascal!”

  “My love, why are you angry? You know that I’d never do anything you didn’t want me to.”

  “You wouldn’t? And what were you doing just now?”

  “Only what you wanted.”

  “Well I don’t want it! Not now! I made it clear to you! When I am…”

  “What you want so much, my darling! You’re very excited!”

  “I’m not excited!” Manami pushed him away.

  Pascal stepped forward, towards her.

  “Actually I am! I never expected to be able to fool such an expert!”

  “Don’t start with that again. I told you…”

  “I’m excited! I am! Very much so! Unbearable!” Manami was jumping up and down and stomping her feet on the floor.

  “And what do you propose, ma’am? What should we do?” Pascal smiled at her.

  “That’s only temporary bodily excitement,” she tried to calm herself. “It just happened… this situation. You’re so cheeky!” she shoute
d suddenly. “You created it! You planned everything! That’s why you started telling me how much you love my children. So that I would relax, be happy and carefree, and for you to jump me and take advantage of me! We’ll that’s not going to happen, sir! I’ve seen right through you! Your tactic has failed, sir!”

  “I didn’t plan it, my love, I didn’t. I just wanted to ask you, to beg you to have our baby. I was afraid that you wouldn’t want to. And now I’m so overjoyed!”

  “I am too. But it doesn’t help.”

  “I love you too much, Manami, to allow you to be so excited, and…”

  “I am a woman of flesh and blood, Pascal!”

  “Yes, you are, my love. The most beautiful, most wonderful woman. A real woman!”

  “Don’t say such nice things, Pascal. I can’t take this anymore.”

  “I love you so much, Manami! So much! I won’t do anything if you don’t want me to. So you tell me, how do we get out of this situation. This has to end somehow. You have to be calm and satisfied, my joy,” Pascal said seriously, watching upon his beloved being struggling with herself.

  “I don’t know,” Manami whispered in heat.

  “Well, think about it. Because the excitement will not just go away. On the contrary, it will only grow.”

  “I know.”

  “Here, I’m selflessly offering to help you,” Pascal smiled.

  “I don’t doubt that. I want it, I want…” Manami paused for a moment, then continue. “Here, this is what we’ll do. We’ll go to your room now. And we’ll lock the door. There will be four doors between us and the children. They won’t hear us.”

  “They won’t hear me for sure, and on the other hand, I never thought that you were that loud, Manami, that you need four doors to stifle your…”