The Grasshopper Page 23

  “That’s not my issue. I’m not to blame, Manami.”

  “Of course you aren’t…”

  “Listen to me now, Manami, please,” said Pascal in a determined voice. “I’ve been wanting to tell you this for some time…”

  “Tell me what, Pascal? Don’t scare me, please,” Manami was surprised by the change in the tone of his voice.

  “Manami, you are struggling because of me! I’m harming your wonderful soul! You’re split between your family and me. Between your children and me. I am destroying what you are.

  “Your dignity, your convictions, your being. Where do I get the right… No, no… it’s not about rights. It’s about me not wanting to pain the woman that I love more than anything. The being that I love more than anything!

  “And what will happen when all this ends one day, Manami? Think about it. Your husband, the mayor of Megapolis, will come out as the winner in this war. He will be, and he should be, President of Earth. He deserves it.

  “You say that I’m a dreamer, that I offer people dreams. And for years I was just visiting cities, with my friend Raul, and telling stories. And the entire time that I was telling stories, your husband was making them happen in Megapolis. He created the elite University, he motivated creative young people, he developed science, art, sports. Exactly what I was talking about – that’s what the mayor created. And that is why he will win. Because he created an invincible Megapolis.

  “And what will happen when one day the mayor opens the door to this shelter and says ‘The war is over. We’ve won Alexander. You can come out of this hole in the ground.’ What will you do, Manami? Give up your husband, perhaps even your children, and stay with the greatest coward that ever existed? With a man… not a man, you cannot say that of me anymore… with the coward who spat on the sacrifice of his friends. The best and only friends that he had in his life.

  “I curse myself for being, for you falling in love with me, for destroying your life. Love is very selfish. It wants the loved one just for itself. But not mine, Manami. My love is unearthly, unimaginable, almighty. It isn’t interested in me. It just loves you. It wants you to be happy, at peace. To again assume your position in your family. To be you again.”

  Manami didn’t say a word. She quickly got up from the couch and turned on the light in the room. She stood in front of Pascal, dressed in a lilac sleeveless nightgown. Pascal sat in silence.

  “You’re right, Pascal. I’m torn, shattered… and those several hours when we lie down I can’t sleep. My stomach is in knots, Pascal.”

  Manami closed her eyes and squeezed them tightly. Her entire body was trembling. Then she swiftly raised her nightgown to her chin. She wasn’t wearing anything underneath it. She stood in front of Pascal, completely naked.

  “Look, Pascal!” she shouted with her eyes shut. “Why would you need this body?! You’re used to the young beautiful bodies of girls! I won’t seduce you with my eyes any more! I won’t lie to you! Because there is nothing behind that! Just an ordinary woman, nearing forty!” Manami exclaimed.

  Tears ran down Pascal’s face. He got up slowly, walked up to her and loosened her constricted fingers. The nightgown slid down her naked body. He pulled her towards his chest and kissed her hair.

  “You’re crying, Pascal!” Manami shouted. “I don’t need that! I don’t need your pity! That’s only my concern! Only my pain, Pascal! If one of your sexy women had shown herself to you, you wouldn’t be crying, Pascal! You’d jump her body full of lust and make love to her!”

  Pascal knelt down, grabbed her beneath the knees, fell her onto his arm and picked her up. He took her towards his room.

  “Manami, I will now make love for the first time in my life.”

  “Don’t you dare!” Manami shouted.

  Chapter 116

  They decided never again to sit in the dark. They turned on the light on the dresser. Manami sat in Pascal’s lap. She pressed her hands into his cheeks, and quickly kissed his lips, then retreated. Pascal stroked her neck and back.

  “I’m the happiest!”

  “No, I’m the happiest!”

  “I’m the happiest! And shut up, I tell you!” She kissed him again.

  “Alright, I’ll shut up, but I’m the happiest!”

  “I want to hear it! Tell me again! Come on, tell me – whose body is the most beautiful in the world?”

  “Your body, Manami, is the most beautiful in the world.”

  Manami giggled.

  “You should be ashamed of yourself for lying! I would be ashamed.”

  “I’m not lying, my love. The most, most beautiful!”

  “It’s all my fault. For loving so much when you lie to me.”

  “The most, most beautiful! You are the most beautiful! The most wonderful, Manami! And it is the most beautiful body, which I could barely see through the tears. Let me look at you again, now that I’m no longer crying.”

  “Don’t be cheeky, Pascal. Get serious. It’s out of the question!” Manami moved slightly away from Pascal and looked him in the eye. “Now tell me that thing.”

  “Manami, with you I will make love for the first time in my life.”

  “It is true? Is it true, my darling? You have never before made love?” she kissed his lips.

  “It’s true, my love. Absolutely true. It’s the greatest truth of all. And that expression is silly. I don’t understand how can I make love? It makes me. It makes me belong to you, only you, my dearest being.”

  “Pascal, my Pascal!” Manami giggled. “My love, my joy, my darling, my everything, everything! Only mine! Are you? Only mine? You are only mine?”

  “Only yours! Only yours!” Pascal pressed her against his chest and kissed her hair.

  They were silent for a while, touching and cuddling.

  “I’m not sure that I heard everything that you told me,” said Manami. “I only thought about what you would say when you saw my body. But now I want to talk to you. To talk to you until the morning. About what you said or didn’t say, it doesn’t matter. And you to only listen to me. I am much smarter than you, I guess you’ve realized that up to now?”

  “I know,” Pascal laughed.

  “And you’re again imagining something in that head of yours and you don’t understand at all what is tormenting me. Everything needs to be explained to you, Pascal. Like to a child. But what can I do? That’s how I have it. First of all I’m not split between you and my family, my upbringing and my convictions. You and my children are my family. And my love is my only conviction. Don’t you see that the four of us here are like in a house. Julius comes, like the father, to see us and say hello to his children. And to drink tea with us, have lunch. Everything is as it’s supposed to be. He brings us food and supplies… That’s like paying alimony to me.”

  “You’re being silly,” Pascal laughed.

  “I’m not being silly, Pascal. That’s how it is now, that’s how it will be when we get out of here. Do you know that every time that Julius comes through our door I want to rush to you, to take you by the hand, to put my head on your shoulder, and tell him… him and Peter ‘Pascal and I are in love. We cannot live without each other. Julius, I want a divorce immediately and I want my children.’”

  “Manami…” Pascal whispered.

  “And why can’t I tell him that? Because the two of us, Pascal, don’t know what’s going on above us. I can’t know what we will face when we get out. Will some powerful force separate us? Will Julius take my children and will the two of us will be powerless to prevent it? We don’t know whether there is still a civilized world up there. And that’s why I remain quiet. That’s the only reason, Pascal. I have here what I want. You and the children. I couldn’t take it if we were not together, for any reason. If we had to be separated even for a day.”

  Pascal raised her face and gently gave her a kiss on the lips.

  “And secondly, Pascal, I very much want you. I want your body. It is truly the most beautiful thing in the world.
And that’s why I don’t let you kiss me. Because if you were to really kiss me only once, I would lose it. And we would make love. And after that I would never be able to keep quiet, Pascal. Neither in front of the children, nor in front of Julius. Even if I didn’t say anything, he would see it as soon as he looked at me. Anyway, he is already noticing…”

  “What is he noticing?”

  “What do you mean ‘what’? My looks, your looks… our body language… When I serve you, how close I get to you, how you thank me, how you smile at me, how you love me with your eyes… we can try with the ‘sir’ and the ‘ma’am’ as much as we want…”

  “You’re overreacting, Manami. I don’t believe…”

  “Believe me, it’s true. I know Julius very well. I was his real wife. I tried to understand each nuance in his mood, his behavior… Not to anger him, to please him… There is a seed of doubt in him, Pascal. Perhaps he still isn’t aware of it. He still hasn’t uttered it to himself. But even the smallest detail could change that. Like when Eir infuriated him. And then what will be will be. I will hug you and nothing will be able to separate me from you. Not anyone and not anything!”

  Pascal held her to his chest.

  “And another thing, Pascal” Manami continued. “You say that Julius is the mayor of Megapolis. He created everything that you only talked about. It’s true that he created Megapolis and the University – but for his own reasons, in his own way. Within a given theme. He took part in and won Kaella’s competition.

  “It is true that he offered everything to young and talented people. But he couldn’t understand that those scientists and artists became unhappy when they grew up. Because they had to focus and use their talents and their knowledge to increase production efficiency, reducing costs and increasing Prince’s profit.

  “Prince had the greatest respect for Julius because the scientific institutes in Magapolis developed materials and tools for tearing down skyscrapers and building new ones, in the same location, in only a month. Your apartment’s season is over, folks! You now have a new apartment, folks! And your rent is higher, too!

  “Artists had to create only odes to Humane Capitalism or to solely commercial products. Literature, fine arts, music, theatre, film… they all created the ideal of the super-consumer, which younger generations would admire and mimic.

  “Julius didn’t question that at all. That was a given for him. He acted, with exceptional success, within such a system. He could never understand the hopelessness and desperation of young people. And their escape into depravity. Even now, after everything, after your arrival and the talk to the students, when you told them that they should dream, when you gave young men and women hope, when they listened to you and returned to themselves, even now, when the war started – Julius still does not understand that. He only understands that Megapolis and the University will be able to function only in your world, not in Kaella’s or Erivan’s.

  “But Raul understood that, Pascal. And the fact that you stayed in the shelter and that you will safeguard yourself so that tomorrow you can help people create a new world, that is an expression of your greatest admiration, your deep respect for your friends’ sacrifice.

  “And understand that already! A hundred Juliuses and Levis could not create a better world. Only my Pascal can do that, my dreamer,” Manami said and kissed him.

  “I am a dreamer that has seen his dream come true,” said Pascal. “I’m living my dream. You were my only dream this entire time, Manami. Everything that I dreamed of in life, everything that I did in life, was all a dream about you. I realized that the first moment that I saw you. When the light that reflected off of you first reached my eye.”

  “What are you saying, my love? Why are you torturing me so, when I can’t kiss you?” Manami touched his face and looked him in the eye. “Who are you? A biology teacher or a lovesick poet? Tell your Manami – who are you?”

  “I don’t know. I know only that I am yours. And that nothing else matters.”

  Manami couldn’t hold back anymore. She kissed him passionately. Pascal was still caressing her back.

  “Cuddle my breasts… just my breasts…” she whispered in a moment when she separated from his lips.

  Pascal gently cuddled her breasts through her nightgown.

  “Not like that!” Manami screamed. She raised herself from his lap, lifted her nightgown and placed Pascal’s hands beneath it. “Just my breasts, Pascal! Don’t you dare…”

  Manami and Pascal could barely part, standing in front of her door. They had to get a few hours sleep so that they could function normally in front of the children.

  “I’ll tell you this, my dear. You’re not a coward. You’re the bravest man there is… who has ever lived.”

  Chapter 117

  “Wow, Your Imperial Majesty! It looks so good on you!” shouted the Grasshopper when he saw Erivan in the black short tunic, wearing a wig.

  “I don’t know… it’s a little strange… but at least its comfortable…” Erivan stated his opinion.

  “It’s perfect, Your Imperial Majesty. But, do you remember that reality show before the war? The one where the competitors killed each other, and whoever survived won money?”

  “I do, how could I forget it! I loved it! I kept sending messages. I spent a bunch of money, but I have no regrets.”

  “You should now organize the same show, but at a stadium. Let the people watch them live as they kill each other.”

  “Wow, that would be great! Even I would go watch that.”

  “Of course you will go, Your Imperial Majesty. In the central box. And your throne will be carried in by hand.”

  “Will they do that?”

  “Only if they want me to vaporize Capital City…”

  “So, that’s what I should say…”

  “It’s clear to the people, Your Imperial Majesty. You just give the orders and don’t worry about a thing.”

  “I will. I’ve really missed that show,” Erivan finally relaxed.

  “When the show is over and one survives, you get up in your box, you slowly raise your hand…”

  “And?”

  “And then if you give the thumbs up – the survivor gets the prize, and if you give the thumbs down, Charlie’s boys will kill him.”

  “That’s great! I can’t wait!” Erivan was excited.

  “That’s only the beginning. I have many things to teach you, Your Imperial Majesty.”

  Chapter 118

  “Today I was definitely convinced that you will tell Seneca about the two of us one day, Manami,” Pascal smiled.

  “I couldn’t leave you with that bad haircut. I don’t know what was up with Peter. He’s always cut your hair nicely. I guess his hand trembled for some reason.”

  “And you pounced like a lioness. You grabbed the scissors from his hand. Peter was shocked.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. It was really strange. I was watching in the mirror. I was watching you, my love. How silly you were. You were all red. And you, the missus, took the scissors to cut my hair in front of your son. You won’t let me be ugly.”

  “Well I won’t! I won’t let you, my handsome man,” Manami kissed him.

  “Really kiss me, Manami,” Pascal placed his hand on her breast.

  “Not now, Pascal. The night has only begun,” Manami grabbed his hand, but she didn’t move it away. “Alright… two minutes, but through the nightgown… We mustn’t… you know how it would end. We always have to leave that for the end of the evening, my love. Two minutes before bedtime. Kissing and cuddling breasts beneath the nightgown. That’s our agreement.”

  “Yes. But these two minutes now, through the nightgown,” Pascal caressed both her breasts, “can it also be with kissing?”

  “Alri…” Manami was already kissing him, not to waste time.

  “Alright. Now you tell me,” said Manami five minutes later, when the agreed two minutes were up.

  “What should I tell you about?” Pa
scal asked.

  “I want you to tell me what kind of world you will create.”

  “I won’t. I’ve already told you.”

  “Yes, you will.”

  “Alright, I will. Whatever you say.”

  “Well, then it will not only be the law of the jungle that applies in the struggle for survival in your free market.”

  “It isn’t my free market, Manami. It doesn’t belong to anyone. That’s why its called a free market. Those are its rules. As powerful as nature’s laws. Like evolution. Whoever opposes it will lose. Sooner or later.”

  “Evolution created life, Pascal. All life. Including man. And human life, regardless of whether it is strong, young, full of energy, triumphant… or weak, ailing, old, incompetent, a loser… whatever it may be, it is the greatest value there is. You will create a world that will bow to life… and protect it.”

  “Whatever you say, Manami.”

  “Pascal, as your wife, I will warn you.”

  “My wife!” Pascal shouted. “My wife, my beloved wife!” He kissed her passionately.

  When they finally separated after a while, Manami continued:

  “I will tell you when you must interfere. When you must stop the torrent of the free market and protect the people. Protect the little nature that we still have left. To defend life. And you will listen to your wife.”

  “I will. I will obey my wife. I will always, always listen only to you. I will do everything that you want.”

  Manami kissed him gently and placed her head on his chest.

  “Manami, do you have a gold kimono?” Pascal asked.